After reading a recent post by Mark and Angel titled “10 Fantasies to Let Go of Before the New Year”, something hit home for me. The blog post explained how we all have this perceived notion on how our life “should” be or "should" look like, according to our fantasies. Our fantasies (no, not those fantasies) are thoughts that inhibit our ability to grow and move forward in our lives. These fantasies can be brought on by society, the people around us, or worse, ourselves. We are wired to make decisions based on how life “should” look like. We think that we have to pick a certain major by a certain year in college (even though we have no idea what we want), work a 9-5 job for 30 years (even though we absolutely hate it), wear this designer purse (even though we can't afford it), dress a certain way (even though it’s uncomfortable). It has been embedded into our brains that we must live our life according to these rules because it’s normal…but what even is normal?
Since I can remember, I have struggled with the idea of living a “normal” life because nothing in my life is normal. I struggle with the thought of working a 9-5 job. I struggle with the thought of society not thinking that my career is “real." I struggle with being on the back end of my playing career. I struggle with not knowing where I want to settle down. I struggle with that probably not being in my hometown with my family. Despite having a rough and tough exterior, these are all real things that I mentally struggle with.
My struggles end in 2017 because my goal is to let it all go. Sounds simple, right?
I am done with living a life that is acceptable to someone else’s standards of “normal”. As a female, it is not “normal” to prioritize your life around a sport. I do. It is not “normal” to only live in an area for 6 months because you have to go to your next season. I do. It is not “normal” to miss holidays with the family because you are playing soccer. I do. It is not “normal” to be gay. I am. It’s not “normal” to not know what you want to do with your life. I don’t. The list goes on and on, but it shouldn’t matter because what even is normal?
At 27 years old, there are many things that I do not know yet and there are many things that aren’t “normal” about me…but the funny thing is, the more I find out what is not “normal” about me, the more excited I am to live my life.
Life is supposed to be anything but normal, dull, or boring. Life is about finding what makes you happy, regardless of whether or not it is deemed “normal.”